Personal Thoughts on Life

How to Encourage When You Feel Utterly Defeated 

This will probably be my last post for the night. I have been busy catching up posts, cleaning and organizing since I’ve had a little bit of a break this weekend. 

The topic I’m writing on may honestly make you have a puzzled look on your face and sort of question, what?? It almost sounds oxymoronic to encourage people when you do feel defeated in life. But it’s honestly not impossible! That’s right, I said it’s NOT impossible. 

Since my husband and I got married 2 years ago now, happily working on 3, we began to notice a lot of our friends were in the same stage of life as us, getting married 👰🏼! Well about 5-6 months after we got hitched, we noticed our friends that also got married started making babies! Now, we’ve talked about having kids, and Lord knows we so want babies of our own, now probably more than ever before. However, in our time spent so far as man and wife, we’ve discovered that if we had babies right now it may cause an interference for getting our studies done and graduating. And we’ve made an agreeable decision that no matter what our children will not go neglected and we will be there for them. See, regardless of anything, we still have our own goals and career paths that we believe God has called us to, so that’s why we go to school. We want to provide great futures for our babies and that’s why we are seeking great career paths. 

So back to the part of everyone else making babies…Gared and I quickly discovered that it’s a lot harder for us to make a baby than others. We’ve tried to have a baby for a little over a year now and still no results. After taking multiple tests with negative results, lots of tears and heartache for both of us, was too much. So we decided that we would no longer worry about getting pregnant, we would enjoy the time we have without kids right now and if it happens, we will praise God, and if it doesn’t we’ll adopt all the babies! Well about the time we had made that decision, one of my closest friends told us they were expecting and I was overcome with such devastation it was completely overwhelming. I remember sitting on our bed reading this awesome news and all I could do was weep big crocodile tears. My husband came in our bedroom to check on me and knew I was beyond devastated because all I could think was, why is this so easy for everyone except us?! What is wrong with us?! This flood of negative thinking just overcame my mindset. Yet at the same time, my faith in God gave me amazing strength. I was able to speak life to them, encourage her and just be a knowledgeable source for her. Sadly, they lost their precious little one later on at the beginning of the second trimester and I pray everyday for their family that God would restore them! 

What’s hard is that my friends are still having babies, I’ve been to 4 babies showers in 2016 and in March I’ll have my first baby shower of the year to attend. Regardless of us not being able to conceive as quickly as our friends, I still find ways to be there for other women, I’ve done research to help them where they need it, bought organic baby supplies, spent more money on babies that aren’t ours than more people probably would and told women I’m happy for them. That’s probably the hardest part, because you are genuinely happy for them, but you also think how it sucks that your body doesn’t make that happen so easily. 

I can now say that Gared and I have learned to be happy for people no matter what! We’ve learned to show love and provide help for new families any way we can. And we’ve learned to trust God’s plan for our lives! It’s not easy, but we know God will either give us a child of our own DNA or He will open a door that lets us adopt! See, encouraging others doesn’t always have to be with words, we can encourage with a plethora of other resorts also. 

For now, we trust God’s plan, we keep having fun while trying, and keep loving each other no matter what! One day, we’ll make a post about a baby announcement with a pregnan belly, or we’ll be announcing the adoption of Baby H! 

We love y’all! We hope this brings a sense of encouragement and relief to those who may also be struggling like us, you are not alone! There are others like you, and we are here to support each other! 

Mucho love! Stay safe this next week! God bless! 

G & K 


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